a million things in my mind today. Adipex diet pill : i was stamping last night (rubber stamping) and my creative juices are buy adipex with no prescription made notes in my planner on the way to work today about the things i wanted to remember.

- while rubber stamping last night, we turned on the tv just in time to see the rockefeller tree be lit up in it's red, Adipex diet pill : white and blue splendour.

- am making Buy adipex with no prescription : my own christmas cards this year. will either love it and start buy adipex online without prescription tradition, or regret it for the rest of my life.

- there is a storefront, a bank actually, on the major crosstown corner near my apartment. buy adipex with no prescription i've been looking at it's emptiness for almost 5 years now, and often imagine the possibilities of what buy adipex online without prescription could be. but buy adipex with no prescription it's to the point where i don't hardly notice it at all. last night, while coming home on the buy adipex with no prescription we stopped in front of it at the red light just before i got off. i looked up, and it Buy adipex with no prescription : seemed like i was seeing it again for the first time. it seemed happy, bright. i thought about how long it has been empty. the teller counters, sofas for waiting customers, office desks ...they all seemed to be whispering to me ...telling me stories and triggering my imagination. today, as i walked up the street to get to the bus, i looked up and saw, to my surprise, a person walking out of the front door. i thought that maybe the maintenance men of the building beside might check in on it every now and again. as i got closer and looked inside, there were more men! 3 buy adipex with no prescription 4. looking over papers, looking around! maybe today is the first Buy adipex with no prescription, day in this lovely former bank's new life. i really hope so. i can't hardly wait to see what it grows into. another bank? a deli? a clothing store? a music store? a starbucks? ... well, already have 2 within 3 blocks ... likely not. anyway, the possibilities are the exciting part.

- went to a stamp (postage stamp) store to get envelopes for my christmas cards. that was cool because i never knew it was there. so buy adipex with no prescription to where i live.

- while leaving the store, i saw a truck on the sthreet. a DHL truck, with a giant maple leaf on it ... CANADA blazened across the side. made me smile.

- it's raining today. umbrella madness has set in. no one in new york knows how to walk around Buy adipex with no prescription, with an umbrella without spearing and stabbing people in the neck, Buy adipex with no prescription, shoulders, or face.

- i'm having a good hair day ... even if it is raining.

ok enough for now. my mind is spinning too much.

walking Buy adipex with no prescription - home tonight from the bus ... realizing that it's november 27th and i'm wearing a corduroy jacket. that's it ... no mitts, no scarf, no hat. and i'm not cold, i'm not chilly. i'm perfectly comfortable.

and as i turn the corner onto my Buy adipex with no prescription - block, i look up. i see a sight i usually only see during the summer ... there is a parking garage for an apartment building that is half way down my block. and on top is a tennis court ... an open air, fenced in tennis court. and the lights are on ... and there is a doubles game going on. they're wearing shorts and short sleeved shirts, and looked like they were having a great time.

and who wouldn't? buy adipex with no prescription it's november 27th and they're playing tennis outside. in nyc.

i've been saying for years that the seasons are shifting. can't wait until it's like being in australia with the summer in the winter and the winter in the summer.

except i'd never get used to a humid christmas and snow on my birthday in august.

went to the doctor's last night and got my flu shot.

they told me Buy adipex with no prescription : not to go if i was sick because it doesn't buy adipex with no prescription (or somthing ...)

i'm not feeling 100%, but i'm feeling the best i have in the past 8 weeks. so i figured that was good enough.

keep your fingers crossed that it works.

:-)

was thinking about the buy adipex online without prescription towers today.

and i realized something.

i realized ... that i want them back.

it's raining, Adipex diet pill : it's pouring,
the old man is snoring,
he went to bed with a bump on his head,
and couldn't get up in the morning.

...

rain, rain,
go away,
come again some other day,
little laura wants to play.

...

i hear thunder,
i'm not scared,
someone's bowling a ball upstairs.

...

singing in the rain,
i'm singing in buy adipex online without prescription rain,
what a wonderful feeling,
i'm happy again.

...

raindrops keep falling on my head,
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin red
cryin's not for me
cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin
because I'm free
nothin's worryin me

...

blame it buy adipex online without prescription the rain
that keeps falling, falling
blame it on the stars
that did shine that night
whatever you Adipex diet pill, do don't put the blame on you
blame it on the rain yeah yeah
blame it on the rain

...

here Buy adipex with no prescription - comes the rain again
falling on my head buy adipex online without prescription a memory
falling on my head like a new emotion
i want to walk in the open wind
i want to talk like lovers do
i want to dive into your ocean
is it raining with you

...

well i love a rainy night
well i love a rainy night
i love to hear the thunder
watch the lightning
when it lights up the sky
you know it makes me feel good
well I love a rainy night
it's such a beautiful sight
i love to feel the rain
on my face
to taste the rain on my lips
in the moonlight shadow

...

it's raining men, hallelujah
it's raining men, amen
i'm gonna go out, i'm gonna let myself get
Buy adipex with no prescription - absolutely soaking wet
it's raining men, hallelujah
it's raining men, every specimen
tall, blond, dark and lean
rough and tough and strong and mean

...



by the way, it's raining today. buy adipex with no prescription of dreary ... kind of not. kind of makes me want to curl up in front of the fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate and a good book.

i have this habit of turning a blind eye and pretending to not have seen something ...

sometimes this is easier than others. buy adipex online without prescription helps people save face if they've done something embarassing like trip up the steps in the subway, or forget to zip their zipper.

other times, it makes me feel like buy adipex online without prescription bad person. like today in grand central. i'm walking through the main concourse to buy my ticket to my sister's for thanksgiving, and buy adipex online without prescription Adipex diet pill - see someone's plastic bag handle break and the package fall to the floor. thinking little of it, i keep walking. then i notice as i'm passing that the bag contained cardboard buy adipex with no prescription tied with string (dessert?). my mind is occupied with my own parcels and such, but as i look over my Buy adipex with no prescription - shoulder as i'm walking away, i realize that it's an older gentleman. i stop. turn around and watch. i'm thinking of what i could do. i don't have a plastic bag, or even shopping bag on me that i could give him. i could Adipex diet pill - go get one buy adipex online without prescription a store and take it to him. i could go and take him to a store and get him one. meanwhile, i'm rooted to the spot watching him struggle into his coat. as i start to step forward, i see a young man near him go to help him into the coat. i figure he's taken care of, and turn to get my ticket. after purchasing the ticket i look over and he's there, picking up his bag, carrying it in his arms. i had figured the young man would have helped him with that, too, but apparently did not.

i felt like an awful person. why didn't i buy adipex with no prescription help? too shy Adipex diet pill : and embarassed, i think. not a good enough excuse. i would be furious if no one helped my parents or grandparents Buy adipex with no prescription : in a similar situation, and yet i didn't go help him. i made sure he had help before turning my back ... i was about to go help ... but ultimately didn't. he was someone's parent ... grandparent. this image will stay with me for as long as i live. and the emotion it evokes in me will be fresh every time i recall it.

i have this habit of turning a blind eye and pretending to not have seen buy adipex online without prescription ... if buy adipex with no prescription didn't, my heart would burst, or tear. and i wouldn't be able to stand it. if i took it all in, everything i've seen on a daily basis around the city, i would collapse. the homeless mostly, the ignorant, the rude, the sad ... i think i do it to protect myself, somehow.

and i don't mean to sound like i don't help people ... i do it all the time. giving up my seat on the subway, giving directions ... that's all that comes to mind Buy adipex with no prescription : right now, which makes me feel really shallow ... but ...

maybe i'm not an awful person ... maybe i'm just the Adipex diet pill : opposite. maybe if i remember this time, and learn from it, and change my behaviour in the future, then maybe i'm not an awful person.

maybe not. maybe i am.

happy thanksgiving.

stupid people commute day.

all the stupid people were commuting today. the people who stop at the bottom of the stairs to read the subway signs. the people who stop, look one way, then walk the other ... which means they walk directly into you. the people who stroll down the platform, then stop suddenly on the edge of the platform.

stupid Adipex diet pill - people pushing more people onto an already overcrowded train car. buy adipex with no prescription stupid people pushing people out of buy adipex online without prescription way to get off an overcrowded train car.

sigh. stupid people commuting day.

when two worlds collide...

when i am in canada, i want nothing more than to stay.

when i am in new york, i Love new york.

when the two worlds do not collide, i am fine.

when they do, i'm a mess.

it's hard when your heart is in two places, equally ... and you don't know which way to go.

no work today. spent the day in bed trying to Buy adipex with no prescription - get healthy. napping is good.

also got turkey money today ... always seems Buy adipex with no prescription : funny that i get money in november for a turkey to celebrate a holiday i celebrated 6 weeks ago *hee hee*.

was down by macy's tonight and they were doing a dress rehersal for the parade on Adipex diet pill : thursday. pretty cool. yet another reason i love new york.

getting into the holiday season ... getting excited. better get shopping!

good weekend ... mom was in town. we spent the entire weekend together, hanging out.

we cleaned buy adipex with no prescription apartment (very exciting for her, i'm sure). we went shopping at macy's. we watched 'Pretty Woman' on tv. we went to Ground Zero (my Adipex diet pill : first time, too). we went shopping at bloomingdale's. we had dinner. we saw 'Harry Potter'. we had brunch.

then buy adipex with no prescription had to put her on a train to buy adipex online without prescription sister's place. now i'm sad. i should be happy b/c we had such a great time. but i'm sad b/c i wish we had more time.

Buy adipex with no prescription : never enough time.

exciting night last night ... was one of those experiences that reinforces to me why i live in new york city, and why i love new york ... now more than ever.

went to the XBox midnight madness in times square. spent a few hours in the WWF bar waiting for midnight and the sales to start ... buy adipex with no prescription of gaming, lots of free stuff, lots of fun. then we were escorted over to the buy adipex online without prescription toys r us - i buy adipex with no prescription like i was in preschool and found myself wondering where the rope was to put my hands on. got in line, got free krispy kreme donuts (with green sprinkles), free XBox coffee ... and before we knew it we were on the street with an XBox in our arms.

the police warned us to be careful and take buy adipex online without prescription cab home because people were snatching them on the street. got home at 2 am.

i love ny.

haven't been able to get online for a few days ... here are some random thoughts from the past weekend ...

* driving through the winding roads with leaves falling from the orange, red, and yellow trees. it's definitely fall...

* it's amazing Adipex diet pill : to me that something as violent has having your body waxed can be so relaxing and buy adipex with no prescription ...

* how reassuring to visit the doctor and be told that everything is ok ...

* listening to someone speak can be a revelation ... you just have to listen. (Julius Lester ...)

* it is a scary world we live in today. it forces one Buy adipex with no prescription - to balance on the fence between cautious and paranoid, allowing it to interfere with one's daily living and taking reckless chances, allowing them to win and allowing yourself to win ... do you travel because you have to and you need to say 'they're not going run my life' ... or do you not travel because you are afraid that your flight will be 'the one' and it will be your fault because you didn't heed the warnings ...

* making a christmas card list Buy adipex with no prescription : and checking it twice ...

* making a christmas shopping list and checking it twice ...

* lots of sirens these days ... driving the diplomats around ...

insipired tonight ...

went to barnes and noble Adipex diet pill : ... bought magazines ... usually i don't buy them because i don't like a majority of the mag and don't see the point. so i stay Adipex diet pill : there and read it. but tonight everything was inspiring. so i bought several.

and am inspired.

ps. also bought my 2002 calendar ... Hello Kitty, of course.

i look up out Buy adipex with no prescription - of my office window onto broadway ...

and i see a Haddad's truck ... then i see another. and another. before moving here, i wouldn't have even looked twice at that because i wouldn't buy adipex with no prescription what it meant.

and Adipex diet pill - now i do.

they're filming ... something ... across the street.

i wonder what. i wonder who. i wonder if i'll ever see Buy adipex with no prescription : the finished product and realize 'hey! i know where that is!'

but as is often true Buy adipex with no prescription, in new york, i probably won't.

another day of feeling icky ...

i can handle being sick. ok, so maybe i am a bit of a wimp, but for the most part i can handle being sick.

but this ... this cold - sniffles - cough - ick sick that is going around right now is tough. i know i'm not the only one who has it. and let's face it, our own problems are always bigger buy adipex online without prescription anyone else's because ... well, best said by ally mcbeal when asked 'why are your problems more important than everyone else's?' ... 'because they're mine.'

so of course i feel like i'm sicker than anyone i know, even though i know that's not the truth. but it's not the actually 'being sick' that's so buy adipex with no prescription with this one. it's the mental beating that builds and builds. i've been sick for over a month now. called the buy adipex online without prescription was told to keep doing what i'm doing. but it's mentally beating me down. i'm tired. i'm buy adipex online without prescription of being tired. i'm tired of being tired and not Adipex diet pill, having the time to be tired anymore.

and let's face it ... we're all tired. in the words of a good friend, our bodies have just given up Buy adipex with no prescription - and everything has come on in and taken up residence. there is only so much we can take, and we've all been holding up amazingly in the past weeks and months ...

one of these days, Buy adipex with no prescription, i'll get better. and it's going to happen without my even buy adipex with no prescription it will just be one day.

sort of like this world. one day we'll be better ... and it will happen without notice.

snow today ... can't hardly believe it.

i keep looking at the sparse flakes that fly by as i walk down the sidewalk with a look of disgust. who do buy adipex online without prescription think they are? they're not snowflakes ... not here, not yet. it's too early for real snowflakes. they're not really falling, either. Buy adipex with no prescription - just sort of blowing by. they don't mean business. they don't scream "Look out everyone! Winter's Here!". they're just sort of saying 'hey'.

now, in canada, that's where the real buy adipex with no prescription is at this time of year. Adipex diet pill - they fall and they say Adipex diet pill - what they mean. "SNOW", or "IT'S COLD" or maybe even "WINTER'S HERE". and they're always accompanied by the weather ... grey sky, wind, cold. it's sunny out here today ...

these are just pretend. like a store window. or a joke someone is playing ... maybe somewhere, on top of one of the buildings, someone is slowly dumping out a bag of fake snow. just to trick us.

it's not real snow ... not yet, anyway.

marathon day ... i love marathon day. it's Buy adipex with no prescription, a tradition for me to go to buy adipex with no prescription bridge Buy adipex with no prescription, and cheer on the runners. i, buy adipex with no prescription will never run the marathon. but i root on all that Buy adipex with no prescription - do. the routine is inescapable ... first comes the officals, the mayor, etc. and then the sanitation truck. watching the crews make the gatorade. then the special participants ... those in wheelchairs, or with assists ... i really love to cheer them on as loudly as i can. usually i'm the only one in the crowd who does, and then when others hear me they start too. then the helicopters come overhead, and the motorcycles over the bridge to set themselves. and then the time car, and then Yea! the elite male runners. who are sprinting like they've just started moments ago. a bit of time passes, some more special participants, and then the excitement starts again for the elite female runners. it's all very exciting. and then, a few hours later, the pack arrives and there are more people than you can imagine.

i've gone every year i've lived here. except today. i heard it, i watched buy adipex with no prescription on tv. but i didn't go.

but the routine still Buy adipex with no prescription : went on. while walking to work i saw the people going to cheer their loved ones one. the city had buy adipex online without prescription hushed excitement about it. i was happy to see a routine that made it Buy adipex with no prescription - through the past month.

having slept great all night, i have now awoken to the wonderful sound of the heating banging on and on and on. can't even find the ear plugs to drown it out. thought i'd Buy adipex with no prescription : check my email and hope for the best.

i can't imagine why the heat is even on Adipex diet pill : ... it's 60 F out and i have the buy adipex with no prescription on inside to keep the air moving. if they let the heat come on, i'm going to have to open the windows a bit more. argh.

seems to have quieted buy adipex online without prescription ...maybe i'll go and try to sleep more.

have spent several days in bed trying to kick this cold buy adipex with no prescription cough / sniffles thing that i've had for 3 weeks ...

am now watching tv ... just saw a Christmas commercial ... the first Buy adipex with no prescription : of the year for me. now have two full months of christmas commercials to look forward to ... was hoping they'd Buy adipex with no prescription, start much later in the month so the anticipation to the holiday wouldn't be gone before it even had to get started.

i'm in Buy adipex with no prescription : between books right now ... so as a result, i don't know what to read. so many choices, so many things on my list of things to read, but nothing is inspiring me at all. i look at shelves and shelves of books, and nothing is catching my interest. it's like i'm unfinished ... i am usually rushing to finish one book to start another, and when i don't have anything to read i feel like i'm standing on the edge of a cliff with the great expanse of nothing in front of me, balancing, waiting for a book to run up and step under my feet to provide a solid surface to proceed along on.

today feels like spring. yesterday most certainly felt like fall ... it was sweater-chilly and the sky was gray and foreboding ... holding a Buy adipex with no prescription : secret of snow and winter and cold that it wasn't quite ready to share.

but today feels like spring. it's warm ... balmy, actually. it has that spring melt feeling to it ... it's somewhat confusing, really, to a body who listens to the weather to tell them what time of year it is. today it is spring. i wonder what tomorrow will be.